I want to walk on stilts...naked
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
