I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
