I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize