kristin has been a bad kristin
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
