i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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