There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize