i think my tv is drunk
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
