i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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