check it out our google latitudes are spooning
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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