I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize