I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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