so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I believe in your delicious
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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