Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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