what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize