How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
