I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Your cock deserves a montage
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
