OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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