The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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