I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
