I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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