the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
