is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
