It was confusing and full of hummus
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
