Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
high people should be assigned attendants
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
