worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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