physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just threw up on my dentist
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
