Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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