There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
