I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
