She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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