she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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