Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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