oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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