I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
