I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
