Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
