your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
