Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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