It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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