My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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