I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize