I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
