My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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