omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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