I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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