Please, let me fuck your mom
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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