i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize