Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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