Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
