so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
