Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
