Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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