now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A+ Viking dick
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
