Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
