she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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