when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
