well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
