They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize