yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
