I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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