He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she peed on how many people?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
