so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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