I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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