If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
