brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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