Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
