you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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