I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
