trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
