Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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