We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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