Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
