Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You pole danced in your parka.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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