Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
