I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
no more duck duck goose at the bar
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
