Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
