Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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