I don't think brook has ever known best
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
